HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 237.8 (down 0.8 pounds from two weeks ago)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts this week: 0
I am relieved. The weight gain has slowed--even, perhaps, stopped. It's breathing room while I figure out what to do. I am grateful. I need it.
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: Chaos
Today:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 238.6 (up 3.2 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts this week:
30 minute cardio (2 mile) low impact aerobics x1 ? Maybe.
30 minute weight routine x1
Too much cake.
I have been over at my Mom's nearly every single day this week helping her (and my husband) get my 5 year old nephew's bedroom ready for him. And, my mother has cake. Not homemade cake, either. Store bought mousse cakes that demand to be demolished in two days while taking several breaks, just for a "small slice." Potato chips and cookies peak from grocery bags piled on the counter. They call to me even after they're put away into the pantry. Unfortunately, I am less than enthusiastic about this room make over project--so I am justify eating those treats as "my reward." That--and the fact that my Mom's fridge is freezing her food at irregular intervals so having fresh food (or even something cold to drink) can't be relied upon.
My stress levels are sky high. I wake up in chaos and come home to worse. I've neglected the house all summer and I plan to just leave things be until the kids are back at school next week. The kids do the dishes when I ask but never all of them all at once. (That's hard for even me to do.) Vacuuming (the other chore I ask them to do) is hit or miss. I haven't cleaned. I haven't made a menu plan for two weeks now.
Even so, that number up there feels a little unfair. It surprised me. Obviously, I have not figured out how to lose weight yet and live the life I have here before me. And when I say it like that, it's no longer a big mystery why I'm gaining weight. The life I have here before me is a life which packs on the pounds.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 238.6 (up 3.2 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts this week:
30 minute cardio (2 mile) low impact aerobics x1 ? Maybe.
30 minute weight routine x1
Too much cake.
I have been over at my Mom's nearly every single day this week helping her (and my husband) get my 5 year old nephew's bedroom ready for him. And, my mother has cake. Not homemade cake, either. Store bought mousse cakes that demand to be demolished in two days while taking several breaks, just for a "small slice." Potato chips and cookies peak from grocery bags piled on the counter. They call to me even after they're put away into the pantry. Unfortunately, I am less than enthusiastic about this room make over project--so I am justify eating those treats as "my reward." That--and the fact that my Mom's fridge is freezing her food at irregular intervals so having fresh food (or even something cold to drink) can't be relied upon.
My stress levels are sky high. I wake up in chaos and come home to worse. I've neglected the house all summer and I plan to just leave things be until the kids are back at school next week. The kids do the dishes when I ask but never all of them all at once. (That's hard for even me to do.) Vacuuming (the other chore I ask them to do) is hit or miss. I haven't cleaned. I haven't made a menu plan for two weeks now.
Even so, that number up there feels a little unfair. It surprised me. Obviously, I have not figured out how to lose weight yet and live the life I have here before me. And when I say it like that, it's no longer a big mystery why I'm gaining weight. The life I have here before me is a life which packs on the pounds.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The Appointment
Today:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 235.4 (up 0.8 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts this week:
30 minute cardio (2 mile) low impact aerobics x2
30 minute weight routine x2
at least one brisk walk with the husband and the dog.
I slept badly.
I am stressed about meeting with a GI specialist this morning about my gallbladder. I really do not want him/her to take it out. The only reason that I can see to take it out is so I'll be able to eat fast food again without fear. But that seems like a stupid reason to lose a body part.
As well, I just do not like doctors, generally.
I've also been over at my Mom's a lot this week getting my nephew's bedroom painted and set up for him. I'll be spending even more time in the coming days over there. I've let my house go, too. It's stressful.
Ugh. Still. I shouldn't be using food to deal with my emotions.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 235.4 (up 0.8 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts this week:
30 minute cardio (2 mile) low impact aerobics x2
30 minute weight routine x2
at least one brisk walk with the husband and the dog.
I slept badly.
I am stressed about meeting with a GI specialist this morning about my gallbladder. I really do not want him/her to take it out. The only reason that I can see to take it out is so I'll be able to eat fast food again without fear. But that seems like a stupid reason to lose a body part.
As well, I just do not like doctors, generally.
I've also been over at my Mom's a lot this week getting my nephew's bedroom painted and set up for him. I'll be spending even more time in the coming days over there. I've let my house go, too. It's stressful.
Ugh. Still. I shouldn't be using food to deal with my emotions.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: Illlogical Belief
Today:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 234.6 (up 3.2 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts since last week:
1 mile WATP w/Leslie Sansone video
at least one 20-30 minute walk with my husband and the dog
30 min (2 mile) Cardio workout w/ Leslie Sansone video
I don't quite understand the 231 pounds I weighed last week. I weigh myself in the morning, right after I've been to the bathroom, and I was 233, 231, 232, 234, and 233. The scale is rather arbitrary.
Then again, I did go to a movie last night and eat copious amounts of chocolate, including m&m's.
I've been inconsistent with recording what I am eating. Looking up calories got old, really fast! In fact, I think I only looked up about one day's worth of food. EitherI need to simplify this, invest more time, or find another method.
I really should promise not to eat any more junk food. But, I don't want to make promises I may not keep. I still have this belief, clinging to me like a stubborn toddler to her mother's leg, that I should be able to eat anything I want --and lose weight, too. Intellectually I know this is absurd.
Emotionally, I'm clinging to that leg for dear life.
Honestly, I don't know what to do with that.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 234.6 (up 3.2 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Workouts since last week:
1 mile WATP w/Leslie Sansone video
at least one 20-30 minute walk with my husband and the dog
30 min (2 mile) Cardio workout w/ Leslie Sansone video
I don't quite understand the 231 pounds I weighed last week. I weigh myself in the morning, right after I've been to the bathroom, and I was 233, 231, 232, 234, and 233. The scale is rather arbitrary.
Then again, I did go to a movie last night and eat copious amounts of chocolate, including m&m's.
I've been inconsistent with recording what I am eating. Looking up calories got old, really fast! In fact, I think I only looked up about one day's worth of food. EitherI need to simplify this, invest more time, or find another method.
I really should promise not to eat any more junk food. But, I don't want to make promises I may not keep. I still have this belief, clinging to me like a stubborn toddler to her mother's leg, that I should be able to eat anything I want --and lose weight, too. Intellectually I know this is absurd.
Emotionally, I'm clinging to that leg for dear life.
Honestly, I don't know what to do with that.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: Its Working.
Today:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 231.4 (down four pounds from last week (Aug 1))
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Squeeeeeeeeeeee.
Man, am I thrilled to see that my newly recommitted efforts have made a difference on the scale!
I've been "watching" what I eat. I've been stuffing my ears with wax and ignoring the siren call of the potato chips at the grocery store. I had chocolate, but I read how many calories were in a serving and ate less than I would have.
I've been working out. Leslie Sansone and I are becoming buds again--and twice I've said "yes" to my husband this week when he asked if I wanted to walk the dog with him.
I've only been writing down what I'm eating for two days now and I think this whole looking up calories thing is for the birds --but it is for thin, agile, perky little singing birds-- and I aim to be one, in time.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 231.4 (down four pounds from last week (Aug 1))
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Squeeeeeeeeeeee.
Man, am I thrilled to see that my newly recommitted efforts have made a difference on the scale!
I've been "watching" what I eat. I've been stuffing my ears with wax and ignoring the siren call of the potato chips at the grocery store. I had chocolate, but I read how many calories were in a serving and ate less than I would have.
I've been working out. Leslie Sansone and I are becoming buds again--and twice I've said "yes" to my husband this week when he asked if I wanted to walk the dog with him.
I've only been writing down what I'm eating for two days now and I think this whole looking up calories thing is for the birds --but it is for thin, agile, perky little singing birds-- and I aim to be one, in time.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Waking Up
Today, I weigh 235.4 pounds.
And I know why.
Throughout this weight loss journey I began in October of 2012, I have wanted losing weight to be easy and effortless.
I figured if I ate the right food in appropriate quantities, exercised every couple of days, slept right and managed my stress, I'd lose weight. And so I did.
Until I didn't.
I used the whole30 as a weight loss diet--which it isn't--and it worked! Then, a few months later, I did it again and it didn't. (Yes, I lost weight. But then I gained it right back.) I became frustrated with the lack of texture in my diet--eating meat and vegetables constantly meant no creamy, no smooth and, what I missed most, no crunchy. Cheap cuts of meat are fatty cuts of meat and when I was told I had gall stones and realised that eating fatty meat probably triggered my attacks, I lost it.
I also wanted to see how much fat I could eat without triggering an attack. So, I dove head first into bags of family sized potato chips, large chocolate bars, peanut butter and jam sandwiches, grilled cheese, bags of M&M's.
Stupid.
I think eating Paleo, as laid out in the whole 30 protocol is a marvellous way to eat: but it is not sustainable for me. Nor is it necessary. Fortunately, other than tiny gallstones, I have no gastro-intestinal issues.
I like the Perfect Health Diet. In their chapter on weight loss, The Jaminets advise eating less fat, (trimming visible fat, not eating the chicken skin, using low-fat cooking methods) and eating to the calorie level you wish to sustain. There may be more recommendations, but these two I remember. (I got their book out of the library. Twice.)
They advocate eating "safe" starches such as white rice and potatoes. Dairy is allowed in it's "processed" forms, like cheese and yogurt, and as a fat, like cream. Milk, given its lactose, is not recommended.
I can live with this "diet."
But I cannot eat blindly. I cannot eat "as much as I want" even if it is "clean" and unprocessed, "natural" food.
I have to be conscious. I have to put in some effort. Exactly what I was hoping not to have to do. This blog post, by Erika Nicole Kendall has convicted me. In it, she writes:
So, I am left with the task of becoming conscious whether I like it or not, whether I want to be or not. Does that sound nuts? Honestly, I'd really rather be lazy. I'd rather it not take time and effort on my part. Sigh.
I am going to have to learn to count calories.
I am going to have to track my food.
I may even have to weigh and measure.
I really, really don't want to.
But I also really, really don't want to be 235 pounds. Or, even, 200 pounds.
So, time to put on my big girl panties.
You know, this could be good.
And I know why.
Throughout this weight loss journey I began in October of 2012, I have wanted losing weight to be easy and effortless.
I figured if I ate the right food in appropriate quantities, exercised every couple of days, slept right and managed my stress, I'd lose weight. And so I did.
Until I didn't.
I used the whole30 as a weight loss diet--which it isn't--and it worked! Then, a few months later, I did it again and it didn't. (Yes, I lost weight. But then I gained it right back.) I became frustrated with the lack of texture in my diet--eating meat and vegetables constantly meant no creamy, no smooth and, what I missed most, no crunchy. Cheap cuts of meat are fatty cuts of meat and when I was told I had gall stones and realised that eating fatty meat probably triggered my attacks, I lost it.
I also wanted to see how much fat I could eat without triggering an attack. So, I dove head first into bags of family sized potato chips, large chocolate bars, peanut butter and jam sandwiches, grilled cheese, bags of M&M's.
Stupid.
I think eating Paleo, as laid out in the whole 30 protocol is a marvellous way to eat: but it is not sustainable for me. Nor is it necessary. Fortunately, other than tiny gallstones, I have no gastro-intestinal issues.
I like the Perfect Health Diet. In their chapter on weight loss, The Jaminets advise eating less fat, (trimming visible fat, not eating the chicken skin, using low-fat cooking methods) and eating to the calorie level you wish to sustain. There may be more recommendations, but these two I remember. (I got their book out of the library. Twice.)
They advocate eating "safe" starches such as white rice and potatoes. Dairy is allowed in it's "processed" forms, like cheese and yogurt, and as a fat, like cream. Milk, given its lactose, is not recommended.
I can live with this "diet."
But I cannot eat blindly. I cannot eat "as much as I want" even if it is "clean" and unprocessed, "natural" food.
I have to be conscious. I have to put in some effort. Exactly what I was hoping not to have to do. This blog post, by Erika Nicole Kendall has convicted me. In it, she writes:
Because… wait for it… auto-pilot doesn’t work for weight loss! That’s right – you can’t do it. Why? Because waking up one day and deciding that you’re going to go auto-pilot eating nothing but grapefruit for breakfast and lunch can’t change the fact that your auto-pilot used to lead you to McDonalds or Krispy Kreme for breakfast every morning. Auto-pilot, unfortunately, does equate to mindlessness. It’s operating without thinking. “Not thinking” before led us to being unhealthy in the first place. It certainly won’t lead us to “healthy,” and if it does, it certainly wouldn’t do it overnight… or in two-six weeks like other diets. Excerpted from The Anatomy of A Diet: Why They Work, and Why The Success Never Lasts | A Black Girl's Guide To Weight LossFor me, the whole 30 was my "auto pilot." Truly. That's probably exactly why its creators don't want it to be used and viewed as a weight-loss diet. Using their diet protocol as a way to become lazy about what I put into my body is likely the very last thing the Hartwig's would have wanted.
So, I am left with the task of becoming conscious whether I like it or not, whether I want to be or not. Does that sound nuts? Honestly, I'd really rather be lazy. I'd rather it not take time and effort on my part. Sigh.
I am going to have to learn to count calories.
I am going to have to track my food.
I may even have to weigh and measure.
I really, really don't want to.
But I also really, really don't want to be 235 pounds. Or, even, 200 pounds.
me, at 235 and my new haircut!
So, time to put on my big girl panties.
You know, this could be good.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: Adjusting
Today:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 212.0 (-1.0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Last week:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 213.0 (+7.0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
I came off the whole 30 two weeks ago and attacked sugar and salt like I had never seen it before and didn't know what it could do to me. And that's OK. No, really. I went on the whole 30 to kick start a stalling weight loss. That happened--but once it was over--it stopped happening. And that tells me I need to find something I can live with on an on-going basis.
Given that this week I lost a pound while not attacking the chips and candy (but not exactly eliminating them, either) I know that a reasonable diet will be fine. I have decided to do two things:
1) record my food in a food diary perhaps by taking pictures of it, and
2) watching my starches and having low carb days from time to time.
I do want to mention the mental struggle I am having, too. I have lost a lot of weight. To me, I look thinner. I look great! I walk by a mirror and can not believe how good I look.
But, last night, I went into Wally's world and tried on some clothes. I did NOT look great! I looked just awful, as a matter of fact. It was good. It showed me that I don't yet have the body I want to have. So, I am motivated, once again, to figure this out.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 212.0 (-1.0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Last week:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 213.0 (+7.0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
I came off the whole 30 two weeks ago and attacked sugar and salt like I had never seen it before and didn't know what it could do to me. And that's OK. No, really. I went on the whole 30 to kick start a stalling weight loss. That happened--but once it was over--it stopped happening. And that tells me I need to find something I can live with on an on-going basis.
Given that this week I lost a pound while not attacking the chips and candy (but not exactly eliminating them, either) I know that a reasonable diet will be fine. I have decided to do two things:
1) record my food in a food diary perhaps by taking pictures of it, and
2) watching my starches and having low carb days from time to time.
I do want to mention the mental struggle I am having, too. I have lost a lot of weight. To me, I look thinner. I look great! I walk by a mirror and can not believe how good I look.
But, last night, I went into Wally's world and tried on some clothes. I did NOT look great! I looked just awful, as a matter of fact. It was good. It showed me that I don't yet have the body I want to have. So, I am motivated, once again, to figure this out.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: Six Months.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 206.0 (-3.2 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
I had a bout of stomach flu (or something) on Monday, hence the significant weight loss this week.
I am finishing up my whole30 on Saturday, so I don't actually expect any more losses between this week and next.
I realised this month I have been "reducing" (as Betty Francis reminded us this week of that wonderful late 60's way of putting it!) for more than six months, now. I first posted my reasons to lose weight back in July of 2011, on this site. I thought of them as my goals. I have achieved most of them.
It may be time to set some new ones, as I still want to "reduce" even more. It's all about looking slim and svelte and strong, now. I'm aware that that is a somewhat arbitrary cultural ideal. Knowing that, however, doesn't diminish its attraction. As well, apart from the cultural indoctrination, there's just something about "no excess" which appeals to that part of me which values efficiency and simplicity. I remember how my body felt when I was slim, strong and svelte in my late twenties and early thirties. I want that back. (Or as close as I can get!)
It is difficult to continue to lose weight and talk about it and aplologise for it at the same time, so I won't be apologising or explaining any more. I want to be slimmer than I am. I'm going to carry on.
CW: 206.0 (-3.2 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
I had a bout of stomach flu (or something) on Monday, hence the significant weight loss this week.
I am finishing up my whole30 on Saturday, so I don't actually expect any more losses between this week and next.
I realised this month I have been "reducing" (as Betty Francis reminded us this week of that wonderful late 60's way of putting it!) for more than six months, now. I first posted my reasons to lose weight back in July of 2011, on this site. I thought of them as my goals. I have achieved most of them.
It may be time to set some new ones, as I still want to "reduce" even more. It's all about looking slim and svelte and strong, now. I'm aware that that is a somewhat arbitrary cultural ideal. Knowing that, however, doesn't diminish its attraction. As well, apart from the cultural indoctrination, there's just something about "no excess" which appeals to that part of me which values efficiency and simplicity. I remember how my body felt when I was slim, strong and svelte in my late twenties and early thirties. I want that back. (Or as close as I can get!)
It is difficult to continue to lose weight and talk about it and aplologise for it at the same time, so I won't be apologising or explaining any more. I want to be slimmer than I am. I'm going to carry on.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: Staying the Course
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 209.2 (0.0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Easter was hard. All that chocolate! All those goodies. I wanted to partake, badly. But I didn't. I'm glad I didn't--or that 0.0 change might have been a gain!
I figure there are three reasons my weight stayed the same: 1) Last week was stressful. It was Spring Break. The kids were home from school. My husband took the week off to work on insulating our basement. He was home. He and my son would work during the day and knock off and play video games in the evening while I ferried my daughter from sleep over to hanging out with her friends to sleep over nearly every day. Then, she got sick--and there was Easter dinner to clean up for and cook. Stress. No quiet time.
2) I was hungry. For some reason, Safeway hasn't had any squash in for weeks. Occasionally they will get some butternut, but that's it. This week, I am trying to make sure I have some sweet potato at least twice a day. I'm not doing it right if I'm hungry!
3) No exercise. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. I feel too self conscious to do it when folks are home. I changed out of my pj's and into my workout gear this morning. I'm trying to decide whether to do 1 mile or 2. It's been a while!
CW: 209.2 (0.0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Easter was hard. All that chocolate! All those goodies. I wanted to partake, badly. But I didn't. I'm glad I didn't--or that 0.0 change might have been a gain!
I figure there are three reasons my weight stayed the same: 1) Last week was stressful. It was Spring Break. The kids were home from school. My husband took the week off to work on insulating our basement. He was home. He and my son would work during the day and knock off and play video games in the evening while I ferried my daughter from sleep over to hanging out with her friends to sleep over nearly every day. Then, she got sick--and there was Easter dinner to clean up for and cook. Stress. No quiet time.
2) I was hungry. For some reason, Safeway hasn't had any squash in for weeks. Occasionally they will get some butternut, but that's it. This week, I am trying to make sure I have some sweet potato at least twice a day. I'm not doing it right if I'm hungry!
3) No exercise. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. I feel too self conscious to do it when folks are home. I changed out of my pj's and into my workout gear this morning. I'm trying to decide whether to do 1 mile or 2. It's been a while!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The Rushed Edition
The stats:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 209.2 (-3.4 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
The second week of my own version of the whole 30. And by my own versio, I mean I am compliant except for putting butter on my veggies and every so often, not fretting if my only choice for supper includes bacon with sugar as one of its ingredients.
It's working for me. I am feeling lean. My energy is steady, even when I forget to eat and wind up missing a meal. I am not experiencing the rollar coaster of emotions that comes with a sugar run metabolism, either. That's the best.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 209.2 (-3.4 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
The second week of my own version of the whole 30. And by my own versio, I mean I am compliant except for putting butter on my veggies and every so often, not fretting if my only choice for supper includes bacon with sugar as one of its ingredients.
It's working for me. I am feeling lean. My energy is steady, even when I forget to eat and wind up missing a meal. I am not experiencing the rollar coaster of emotions that comes with a sugar run metabolism, either. That's the best.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The "I Gotta Get a Grip" Edition
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 218.2 (+3.4 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
It's really no surprise I've gained a little. I am a bit surprised by how much!
But there seems to be a pattern developing: buckle down and lose during the last half of the month, break free from the "restrictions" and go crazy the first half of the next month.
This is not good.
This week was particularily bad because I didn't even try to make good choices: I just took whatever food came my way. Roll-ups from my Mom on Friday (when I thought I might start a whole 30), Pizza on Saturday after an intense day spent sorting stuff in the basement, a pot luck on Monday night where I went hog wild and two, count them, two home made apple crisps this week, too.
This is a wee bit scary. 217 was where I got to before in this effort to lose weight a few years ago. Then, it rather rapidly crept back on. I am going to have to make better choices this week: no matter how loudly that grilled cheese calls my name: I never, ever want to see a gain again.
I think what I'll do is write down everything I eat--for a start. Then, plan out what I'll eat this week. I hate doing that, but I have to remove the element of choice and I have to be prepared, I think. I think that's part of what's causing me trouble.
CW: 218.2 (+3.4 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
It's really no surprise I've gained a little. I am a bit surprised by how much!
But there seems to be a pattern developing: buckle down and lose during the last half of the month, break free from the "restrictions" and go crazy the first half of the next month.
This is not good.
This week was particularily bad because I didn't even try to make good choices: I just took whatever food came my way. Roll-ups from my Mom on Friday (when I thought I might start a whole 30), Pizza on Saturday after an intense day spent sorting stuff in the basement, a pot luck on Monday night where I went hog wild and two, count them, two home made apple crisps this week, too.
This is a wee bit scary. 217 was where I got to before in this effort to lose weight a few years ago. Then, it rather rapidly crept back on. I am going to have to make better choices this week: no matter how loudly that grilled cheese calls my name: I never, ever want to see a gain again.
I think what I'll do is write down everything I eat--for a start. Then, plan out what I'll eat this week. I hate doing that, but I have to remove the element of choice and I have to be prepared, I think. I think that's part of what's causing me trouble.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The "Thank Goodness that's Over" Edition
Really.
Diet Bet set me up to think of food as "good" and "bad" and as "permissible" and "eat as much of this when you see it/ decide to have it because you will never see it/have it ever again" nonsense.
So, it is absolutely no surprise that there is no loss from last week to this. I'm surprised there isn't a gain, actually.
I will be starting the Whole30 again tomorrow. This time I am doing it with my Mom. I hope to gain all sorts of that wonderful clean feeling I get when I eat this way, and oodles of energy wouldn't hurt! Mostly, I just want to support my Mom whose diet needs some improving!
Oh, the stats. OK.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 214.8 (0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
See ya next week!
Diet Bet set me up to think of food as "good" and "bad" and as "permissible" and "eat as much of this when you see it/ decide to have it because you will never see it/have it ever again" nonsense.
So, it is absolutely no surprise that there is no loss from last week to this. I'm surprised there isn't a gain, actually.
I will be starting the Whole30 again tomorrow. This time I am doing it with my Mom. I hope to gain all sorts of that wonderful clean feeling I get when I eat this way, and oodles of energy wouldn't hurt! Mostly, I just want to support my Mom whose diet needs some improving!
Oh, the stats. OK.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 214.8 (0 change from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
See ya next week!
Friday, March 1, 2013
It's Official
I have been an absolute mess of nerves for the last 24 hours. Until I could weigh myself and submit the weight--below 216 pounds-- I just couldn't relax. It reminded me of that time in my life when I used to take exams. I know sleep is the best thing for me the night before--but I just can't do it!
Hubs and I went out for coffee last night and I had to turn down both the coffee and the donut. Apple cinnamon tea was no substitute for an apple fritter! But it's OK. I can have an apple fritter anytime! I'm not going to split a pot of over $8,000 with other diet bet winners ever again!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The Whew, I Did It! Edition
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 214.8 (-2.6 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
I chose to view the time I was sick as a course correction. I have been very careful about what I've been eating. It's not just the avoidence of pain, though. No, when I eat low carb, I feel different. I actually feel lighter; buoyant, energetic, happy. Eating a piece of toast can ruin that feeling. So can too much sugar (which some days might be a large square of dark chocolate).
Nonetheless, I don't think I'll participate in something like this again. I'm starting to feel deprived. Now that I've reached my target weight, I just want to cut loose and eat some apple crisp, a pan or homemade brownies, and nothing but grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My focus has shifted from how I feel to what the numbers say--and that's not a healthy shift. So, I'll take the money...and run!
But not until weigh-in Friday morning. I'll have to sit tight until then (figuratively speaking, of course).
CW: 214.8 (-2.6 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5"
Age: 49
I chose to view the time I was sick as a course correction. I have been very careful about what I've been eating. It's not just the avoidence of pain, though. No, when I eat low carb, I feel different. I actually feel lighter; buoyant, energetic, happy. Eating a piece of toast can ruin that feeling. So can too much sugar (which some days might be a large square of dark chocolate).
Nonetheless, I don't think I'll participate in something like this again. I'm starting to feel deprived. Now that I've reached my target weight, I just want to cut loose and eat some apple crisp, a pan or homemade brownies, and nothing but grilled cheese sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My focus has shifted from how I feel to what the numbers say--and that's not a healthy shift. So, I'll take the money...and run!
But not until weigh-in Friday morning. I'll have to sit tight until then (figuratively speaking, of course).
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The Conflicted Edition
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 217.4 (-2 from 2 weeks ago)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Conflicted? Why am I conflicted you ask?
Because in order to lose those two pounds over the last two weeks, I had to get sick. Nasty sick with stomach pain and saying hello to the toilet type sick. (Sorry.)
And I'm kind of glad, which is a different sort of sick.
There's nothing like completely emptying your stomach in the middle of a forced 48 hour fast to clean out your system. I have started afresh: this morning, for example, I had an omelette with fried mushrooms, zucchini, onion and spinach (in coconut oil, of course!) and boiled fork-mashed sweet potato on the side.
I need to be at 216.0 on the morning of the 28th to win my bet at Roni's diet bet and I had not been going to make it the way I'd been playing fast and loose with my eating (and the scale has been swinging up and down right along with me) --I mean, really--hot chocolate and cinnamon toast as a snack before bed? --or (worse) a peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich? On top of grilled cheese for lunch? What was I doing? I don't need to revisit self-sabotage. Been there, done that. I need my new habits.
So, for the rest of the month, I'm afraid, I'm going to have to hide my dark chocolate bars and resist the bread in the bread basket. I will revisit my November meals and recreate them as best I can. It's only a week (and one day).
No. It's only my next meal. That's all I need to worry about. (Oh and cleaning out the fridge!)
CW: 217.4 (-2 from 2 weeks ago)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Conflicted? Why am I conflicted you ask?
Because in order to lose those two pounds over the last two weeks, I had to get sick. Nasty sick with stomach pain and saying hello to the toilet type sick. (Sorry.)
And I'm kind of glad, which is a different sort of sick.
There's nothing like completely emptying your stomach in the middle of a forced 48 hour fast to clean out your system. I have started afresh: this morning, for example, I had an omelette with fried mushrooms, zucchini, onion and spinach (in coconut oil, of course!) and boiled fork-mashed sweet potato on the side.
I need to be at 216.0 on the morning of the 28th to win my bet at Roni's diet bet and I had not been going to make it the way I'd been playing fast and loose with my eating (and the scale has been swinging up and down right along with me) --I mean, really--hot chocolate and cinnamon toast as a snack before bed? --or (worse) a peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich? On top of grilled cheese for lunch? What was I doing? I don't need to revisit self-sabotage. Been there, done that. I need my new habits.
So, for the rest of the month, I'm afraid, I'm going to have to hide my dark chocolate bars and resist the bread in the bread basket. I will revisit my November meals and recreate them as best I can. It's only a week (and one day).
No. It's only my next meal. That's all I need to worry about. (Oh and cleaning out the fridge!)
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Wednesday Weigh In: The Recommitted Edition
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 219.4 (-2.6 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Wow. Happy dance.
After much hemming and hawing, I joined Roni's Diet Bet. I did it after an epiphany that sometimes a goal is worth having simply for the journey it will take us on. I may or may not win the bet, what matters most is that I'll do my best.
I've recommitted to eating between 50 and100 grams of carbs a day. Mark Sisson recommends that range for weight loss. (Weight maintenance is 100 to 150, and insidious weight gain happens from150 to 225 or so. Picture red flashing lights at around 300 grams per day. Danger!)
I also set a goal for working out: 30 miles this month. I know, it's a laugh compared to the way some work out, but I don't want to over do it. Anything I do I have to be willing to keep on doing: or the weight will come back.
In fact, that's one of the reasons I have never set actual weight loss goals in the past, like lose so many pounds in this much time, or weigh 216 by the morning of February 28th . I'd rather set goals which deal with my behaviour. The number is out of my hands. It may or may not be whatever it needs to be. But, my behaviour is definitely within my control--and I need to be careful about what I do. One of the best pieces of advice for weight loss I ever picked up was "Do only what you're willing to do, for keeps."
So, this great experiment may backfire. March might see me stalled out again, unwilling to duplicate the effort I am putting in right now--or maybe not. At the end of it all I may be energised and motivated to keep going. Spring is coming and I want to meet it sleeveless and shameless.
CW: 219.4 (-2.6 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Wow. Happy dance.
After much hemming and hawing, I joined Roni's Diet Bet. I did it after an epiphany that sometimes a goal is worth having simply for the journey it will take us on. I may or may not win the bet, what matters most is that I'll do my best.
I've recommitted to eating between 50 and100 grams of carbs a day. Mark Sisson recommends that range for weight loss. (Weight maintenance is 100 to 150, and insidious weight gain happens from150 to 225 or so. Picture red flashing lights at around 300 grams per day. Danger!)
I also set a goal for working out: 30 miles this month. I know, it's a laugh compared to the way some work out, but I don't want to over do it. Anything I do I have to be willing to keep on doing: or the weight will come back.
In fact, that's one of the reasons I have never set actual weight loss goals in the past, like lose so many pounds in this much time, or weigh 216 by the morning of February 28th . I'd rather set goals which deal with my behaviour. The number is out of my hands. It may or may not be whatever it needs to be. But, my behaviour is definitely within my control--and I need to be careful about what I do. One of the best pieces of advice for weight loss I ever picked up was "Do only what you're willing to do, for keeps."
So, this great experiment may backfire. March might see me stalled out again, unwilling to duplicate the effort I am putting in right now--or maybe not. At the end of it all I may be energised and motivated to keep going. Spring is coming and I want to meet it sleeveless and shameless.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday Weigh In: The Lost Motivation Edition
Yeah, I know, already! Only four months.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 222. 0 (-0.4 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
There it is: the same number, essentially, for the third time in a row, now. My carb intake is up, no question. It's not up by a lot--but just enough to have reached maintenance, obviously. I'm feeling too lazy in the mornings to chop my veggies for my frittattas. I have a grilled cheese for lunch 'cause it's easier than frying up some meat and veggies.
I've also slacked off the excercising. I prefer to do two mile workouts with the Leslie Sansone videos and I only have three which are straight cardio workouts. (The others involve intervals.) I've lost one of the cardio workout discs and the music in the other is too low. That leaves me with one I like to do: and it's boring to do the same one over and over.
What am I saying? These are just excuses. I am thrilled to be at the weight that I am. I have lost more than 10% of my highest weight recorded in September.
I'd like to lose more, but the urgency is gone. My knees feel great, my back pain is gone. The only reason to continue, really, is vanity. I want to wear nice clothes this spring and summer. But I don't know if I want it badly enough to overcome this lethargy. And with temps around minus 30 celcius April seems a long way off.
(Fortunately, I'm not detecting any silly thoughts about worthiness and whether I deserve to look pretty in spring and summer clothes. That would hve been an issue in the past.)
Roni is hosting another diet bet. I'm considering that. The only thing is, one has to lose 4% of one's starting weight to "win" one's bet. That's 8.9 pounds. In four weeks. That feels like a stretch. I don't know if it would be healthy --psychologically speaking-- for me to push for that. I never set goals for weight loss--I'm scared it will set off a disorder.
It takes focus and drive to lose weight: at what point does that focus and drive tip over into unhealthy obsession?
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 222. 0 (-0.4 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
There it is: the same number, essentially, for the third time in a row, now. My carb intake is up, no question. It's not up by a lot--but just enough to have reached maintenance, obviously. I'm feeling too lazy in the mornings to chop my veggies for my frittattas. I have a grilled cheese for lunch 'cause it's easier than frying up some meat and veggies.
I've also slacked off the excercising. I prefer to do two mile workouts with the Leslie Sansone videos and I only have three which are straight cardio workouts. (The others involve intervals.) I've lost one of the cardio workout discs and the music in the other is too low. That leaves me with one I like to do: and it's boring to do the same one over and over.
What am I saying? These are just excuses. I am thrilled to be at the weight that I am. I have lost more than 10% of my highest weight recorded in September.
I'd like to lose more, but the urgency is gone. My knees feel great, my back pain is gone. The only reason to continue, really, is vanity. I want to wear nice clothes this spring and summer. But I don't know if I want it badly enough to overcome this lethargy. And with temps around minus 30 celcius April seems a long way off.
(Fortunately, I'm not detecting any silly thoughts about worthiness and whether I deserve to look pretty in spring and summer clothes. That would hve been an issue in the past.)
Roni is hosting another diet bet. I'm considering that. The only thing is, one has to lose 4% of one's starting weight to "win" one's bet. That's 8.9 pounds. In four weeks. That feels like a stretch. I don't know if it would be healthy --psychologically speaking-- for me to push for that. I never set goals for weight loss--I'm scared it will set off a disorder.
It takes focus and drive to lose weight: at what point does that focus and drive tip over into unhealthy obsession?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The Slacker Edition
Now, I'm not an over acheiver when it comes to exercise. In fact, getting up from the computer every half hour is somthing of a victory in these parts! But, I really do need to exercise a bit more than I have. I exercised once last week. Once.
I entered all of my workouts from January into the Daily Mile on Sunday and it told me I was exercising 2 miles a week. I told my husband. He said, "I'd better get out of the way."
So, you know the numbers are going to be the same as last week or worse, right?
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 222.4 (same as last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
I do weigh in every day and I did see a number less than 220. I'd like to see it again.
I entered all of my workouts from January into the Daily Mile on Sunday and it told me I was exercising 2 miles a week. I told my husband. He said, "I'd better get out of the way."
So, you know the numbers are going to be the same as last week or worse, right?
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 222.4 (same as last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
I do weigh in every day and I did see a number less than 220. I'd like to see it again.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Wednesdy Weigh-In: The Sick Edition
I'm not sure this should count. I have been in a deep dark cave. I have been engulfed, possessed, completely taken over by pain for four days.
It started on Sunday with a bit of discomfort after eating a hamburger and some fries. Just a bit of heartburn. I could handle it with some Eno.
On Monday, hubs and I went to see Zero Dark Thirty. I'd had a nice breakfast of homemade waffles, berries and greek yogurt with a drizzle of maple sugar. I bought some Tums, though, before the movie along with my bar of chocolate. Then, at the movie, I bought some popcorn.
Big mistake.
Twenty minutes after the movie was over I was outside on a bench grateful for the cool winter air.
And so here we are. It is Thursday and I'm finally feeling a bit better. I did weigh myself yesterday--and I have lost weight, but I had only scrambled eggs on Tuesday and half a sweet potato Wednesday. I've had a hard boiled egg this morning--we'll see how it goes.
Here are my numbers which probably shouldn't count:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 222.4 (-2.8 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Scale numbers ofetn feel unreal to me--like they are completely unrelated to anything going on with me. That goes double for this week.
It started on Sunday with a bit of discomfort after eating a hamburger and some fries. Just a bit of heartburn. I could handle it with some Eno.
On Monday, hubs and I went to see Zero Dark Thirty. I'd had a nice breakfast of homemade waffles, berries and greek yogurt with a drizzle of maple sugar. I bought some Tums, though, before the movie along with my bar of chocolate. Then, at the movie, I bought some popcorn.
Big mistake.
Twenty minutes after the movie was over I was outside on a bench grateful for the cool winter air.
And so here we are. It is Thursday and I'm finally feeling a bit better. I did weigh myself yesterday--and I have lost weight, but I had only scrambled eggs on Tuesday and half a sweet potato Wednesday. I've had a hard boiled egg this morning--we'll see how it goes.
Here are my numbers which probably shouldn't count:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 222.4 (-2.8 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49
Scale numbers ofetn feel unreal to me--like they are completely unrelated to anything going on with me. That goes double for this week.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Wednesday Weigh-In: The Birthday Edition.
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy Birthday to me.
I had a really nice birthday surprise on the scale this morning. I hadn't expected to see the numbers drop from the day before (I weigh first thing every day) as I ate a few too many two bite brownies yesterday. The scale gods were feeling gracious I guess.
SO. Here we are.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 225.2 (-2.6 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49 <---- There it is.
Very gratifying.
Two things which may have helped: I walked outside, in the cold, for about 50 minutes after supper. I also slept over eleven hours last night. Nothing helps me lose weight like sleep. Seriously.
Maybe it's because I do weigh myself every day but recording 225.6, here, as my "official" number feels weird. It's like the number isn't quite real. It could be a pound more tomorrow. It's so arbitrary to pick one number a week and say, there! That's what I weigh. Because it isn't. Not really.
Oops, sorry. I shouldn't have tried to explain it. I can't. Let's just say my mind is a very strange place.
We simply need consistent numbers to indicate a trend--and Wednesday's are it. Thank goodness I'm trending downwards.
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy Birthday to me.
I had a really nice birthday surprise on the scale this morning. I hadn't expected to see the numbers drop from the day before (I weigh first thing every day) as I ate a few too many two bite brownies yesterday. The scale gods were feeling gracious I guess.
SO. Here we are.
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 225.2 (-2.6 from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49 <---- There it is.
Very gratifying.
Two things which may have helped: I walked outside, in the cold, for about 50 minutes after supper. I also slept over eleven hours last night. Nothing helps me lose weight like sleep. Seriously.
Maybe it's because I do weigh myself every day but recording 225.6, here, as my "official" number feels weird. It's like the number isn't quite real. It could be a pound more tomorrow. It's so arbitrary to pick one number a week and say, there! That's what I weigh. Because it isn't. Not really.
Oops, sorry. I shouldn't have tried to explain it. I can't. Let's just say my mind is a very strange place.
We simply need consistent numbers to indicate a trend--and Wednesday's are it. Thank goodness I'm trending downwards.
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday dear meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy Birthday to me.
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