Wednesday Weigh-In: Illlogical Belief

Today:
HW: 252.6 (Sept 30, 2012)
CW: 234.6 (up 3.2 pounds from last week)
GW: 140's
Height: 5'5
Age: 49

Workouts since last week:
1 mile WATP w/Leslie Sansone video
at least one 20-30 minute walk with my husband and the dog
30 min (2 mile) Cardio workout w/ Leslie Sansone video
I don't quite understand the 231 pounds I weighed last week. I weigh myself in the morning, right after I've been to the bathroom, and I was 233, 231, 232, 234, and 233. The scale is rather arbitrary.

Then again, I did go to a movie last night and eat copious amounts of chocolate, including m&m's.

I've been inconsistent with recording what I am eating. Looking up calories got old, really fast! In fact, I think I only looked up about one day's worth of food. EitherI need to simplify this, invest more time, or find another method.

I really should promise not to eat any more junk food. But, I don't want to make promises I may not keep. I still have this belief, clinging to me like a stubborn toddler to her mother's leg, that I should be able to eat anything I want --and lose weight, too. Intellectually I know this is absurd.

Emotionally, I'm clinging to that leg for dear life.

Honestly, I don't know what to do with that.