I decided to clean up the house today.
As it gets closer to being clean, I find myself asking, "What if I get it all done?" What if I manage my life so that I live in a clean house, most of the time, that I make healthy choices about my food, most of the time, that I take care of health concerns as they occur, most of the time and that I control my anger and have positive relationships with my family most of the time?
I've been struggling with all of these things for years. I feel close to the end of the struggle.
What will I do with myself, then?
Ugh. This is an extraordinarily uncomfortable place to be in.