Friday, July 29, 2011

Now what?

I decided to clean up the house today.

As it gets closer to being clean, I find myself asking, "What if I get it all done?" What if I manage my life so that I live in a clean house, most of the time, that I make healthy choices about my food, most of the time, that I take care of health concerns as they occur, most of the time and that I control my anger and have positive relationships with my family most of the time?

I've been struggling with all of these things for years. I feel close to the end of the struggle.

What will I do with myself, then?

Ugh. This is an extraordinarily uncomfortable place to be in.


  1. Don't know if what I'm about to say is reassuring or not, but you will allways have something to improve in your home or in your life or in you. Don't worry you will continue to have work to do with yourself. And so I won't sound dispiriting, you will just have less to work with yourself, which is good.

    I hope I understod what you ment, I think I did, but I cannot be sure.

  2. I know what you mean. Thanks Leena. Growth, for me, always seems to go in fits and starts--it just sputters along--