Nov 16, Day 47

Nov 16, Day 47

Sleep

Late to bed, my nap yesterday afternoon threw things off. Read until 11:00pm. Up this morning at 7:00am.

Total: 8.0 h

Food

9:00 Breakfast

½ can of sardines, Acorn squash and spinach.

I didn’t want to waste any food like I did yesterday, so I waited until I felt hungry. I didn’t have any physical sensations of hunger, I just started thinking about food until I couldn’t think about anything else (other than the fact that I’m cold, again.) I thought about having strawberries, but it seemed to me it would take too long to cut them up.  I also ate much more quickly, than I usually do.

Is it weird to have behavioural cues that I’m hungry—and not physical sensations?

Fullness after eating: 7

I also have a teeny bit of a runny nose. I’ve noticed that I get this sometimes after I eat,so I want to track it for a few days.

1:45 Lunch

½ pound hamburger with wilted spinach and leftover braised cabbage thrown in. Leftover roasted roots (parsnips, carrots, sweet potato, rutabaga). Once again, I shocked myself by eating a whole ½ pound of ground beef.  (I usually coulk just one pound for my family of four which includes my 15 year oldson. I don’t think I’ve been cooking enough meat for everyone!)

Fullness after eating: 8

7:00pm Supper

Completely delicious ground beef and sweet potato fried up together with onion, garlic and spices. (1) I served it over spinach. That means I ate spinach with every single meal today! I feel like a toddler on a food jag.

Fullness after eating: 8

Activity

This is funny. At 3:30, realising I only had an hour of sunlight left, I went out for a quick 15 minute walk. (Well, quick for me. Two people actually blew past me!) Once I got home, I was still feeling restless, so I did a 1 mile walking workout with “the walking lady.”  Then, my daughter asked me to walk her to her friend’s house as it was dark, so I did. Two blocks up and three blocks over and back again. Let me repeat that: Two blocks up and three blocks over and back again--with a sore back.

This.

This is why I am doing this. I want to be able to walk my twelve year old daughter to her friend’s house on a winter’s evening in the dark. This is what it means to be healthy. This is what it means to be functional. I couldn’t do this two and half months ago. In fact, walking two blocks nearly crippled me.

Mood

Restless and anxious all day. Christmas is coming soon!  After being outdoors and having had dinner, I’m feeling mellow and pleasantly tired. Looking forward to bed.

(1) http://fastpaleo.com/beef-sweet-potato-hash/

 

Nov 15, Day 46

Nov 15, Day 46

 

Sleep

Lights out last night at 10:30. I didn’t sleep that well. It was hard to wake up this morning. In fact, it will be hard to wake up from now until mid-January at least as the sun will be rising later and later. This morning it rose at 8:00am. I need to be up at 7:00am. I find it difficult to get out of bed when it’s dark.  Anyway, I was up by 7:15.

Total sleep: 8 ¾ h

Food

8:15 Breakfast

Oddly enough, I just wasn’t interested this morning. I heated up some left over acorn squash and ate that with some ghee, but I only had a few bites of my two egg spinach frittata with green pepper, mushroom and onion fried in ghee. Black coffee.

Fullness after eating: 6

I’m not feeling all that full, really, but I am not interested in eating, not in the slightest. Odd. The only times prior to this that I was not interested in eating was when I was full.

1:15 Lunch

1/2lb ground beef fried up with red and green peppers, ½ can tomatoes, chili and cumin for spices, served over a bowl of spinach, topped with ½ avocado and sliced black olives. (The “chili” recipe in ISWF). I actually ate 1/2lb! (It was supposed to be for lunch today and tomorrow—oh well.) I ate today’s portion felt about 6.5-7 on the fullness scale, and then before I knew what was happening, I was eating tomorrows portion, cold, right out of the frying pan.

(Photo taken 1/2 way through eating my first allotted portion)

6:15 Supper

Chicken breast, roasted roots (parsnips, rutabaga, carrots, sweet potatoes), steamed green beans w/ghee, leftover roasted onion and beet salad.

Fullness: 8.5

Activity & Mood

My back was bothering me most of the day. Took the dog out around 10am for a frustrating walk (he stops and smells things about every ten steps!). Still it was sunny and I was craving the sunshine.

I took a nap around 2:30 this afternoon, I was just feeling awful, physically and there were too may stupid negative thoughts in my head. After my nap, my back felt 100% better which improved my mood considerably. I am feeling rather bored with my life, though.

Meditation Day 6: On Success

Northern Coast of California source



Three Questions:

What is your definition of success?
When I acheive something I intended to do, that is success. If I acheive something I wanted, but I didn't do it by way of intentional action, then it was a lucky accident!
 
What do you need in your life to make you feel more successful?
I need some challenging goals.

What would it take to accept that everything you need, want, and desire is already within you?
My happiness is within me.
My joy is within me.
My satisfaction is within me. So is my dissatisfaction!
My ability to love, to serve, to connect is within me.
My creativity is within me.

But is everything I need, want and desire already within me? 

I believe this is true--to a point. How I respond to someone's behaviour is within my control, of course, and by changing my response to another I can change how she or he will treat me. But not always. Other people are just not "within me." I'm not sure there is anything that could convince me that the above is absolutely true.

I keep seeing a little house on a sandy/rocky beach in what I imagine to be Northern California--like the picture I found via google above. I know it is entriely possible for me to go and live there someday. If it is what I want above all else, I can make it happen. All I need to do is get on a bus and go. The trick is to have that cottage and my kids graduate high school, my husband and his job which keeps us in food and clothing (not to mention, shelter!). I cannot have all I want simultaneously--I cannot have everything I want all at the same time. Hate to be a downer, but again, I don't believe there's anything that would make me believe that the satisfaction of every need, want and desire is within me--in so far as it is a true need, want or desire. That is, if I give up the dream of the cottage on the coast which is certainly within my power, then I have dissolved that desire--not satisfied it! At least, I think that's the intended meaning of the above statement. If I am merely to accept the fact that my needs, wants and desires are within me, and no where else, then, no problem, I accept that already!

The prologue to the meditation challenged me to find the "seeds of success" in the things which aren't working for me right now. That would include 1) the daily writing I've paid to do in my writing course, 2) my morning routine which keeps the house decent and 3) working on my plans for Christmas and many other things, once I sit down and think about them. As for those three things, I really don't think it's more complicated than to just do them. Start the work. Do it. Dunno. No magic solutions are occurring to me!

Day 45, Nov 14

Can I have a woot?

Look at that! 45 days of eating veggies, friuts, a few nuts, healthy fats and palm sized protein at three meals a day, every day.

No sugar
No artificial ingredients
No legumes
No grains
No dairy

Consistent energy.
More stable moods.
Vitality.
Strength. (some--long way to go, though!)

Nov 14, Day 45

Sleep

Lights out at 10:45pm last night, got up at 7:15am. I slept well, only waking up when my husband came to bed and when he left for work.

Total: 8.5 h

Food

8:00am Breakfast

Two egg frittata with onion, mushroom zucchini and spinach. Black coffee.

Noon Snack

A few cashews and raisins.

12:50 Lunch

Asparagus, last night’s lemon roasted chicken and MJ’s mashed cauliflower (1).

6:15pm Supper

Mel Joulwen’s Pork Carnitas (2) with braised cabbage and onion, and mashed cauliflower w/ghee.

Fullness after eating: 8.5

Activity

I spent most of the morning cleaning up the kitchen, including mopping the floor which just about did me in. Actually, it did. I spent the rest of the day reading paleo blogs on the computer. I’m going to have to see my chiropractor again tomorrow, I think. I did my meditation today, though I am woefully behind.  

Mood

Surprisingly good, given the pain in my back.

(1)    http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/2012/11/07/mashed-cauliflower/

(2)    http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/2011/04/29/stovetop-pork-carnitas/

Nov 13, Day 44

Nov 13, Day 44

Sleep

In bed at 10, lights out about 10:30pm. Slept too long. Up at 9:30am.

Total: 11 h

Food

11:00am Brunch

½ can sardines, leftover cauliflower rice mixed w/ leftover roasted root vegetables, butternut squash w/ghee, strawberries.

Fullness after eating: 7.5

4:15ish Snack

Handful of cashews.

6:30 Supper

Roasted Lemon chicken, roasted carrots and parsnips, steamed spinach.

Fullness after eating: 8

Mood

I’m bummed about my back. I have to ask people to put my socks on for me, tie up my boots, bring up the laundry hampers from the basement, and pick up things off the floor. I was just feeling somewhat independent again, too.

After 44 days on this eating plan, I’m beginning to feel a bit bored. I’m also worried my husband is going to do the whole30 just to please me and not because it is something he wants to do for his own sake.  I don’t want him to blame me if it isn’t entirely pleasant.

I’m also a bit depressed because the state of my house is driving me crazy. I really want to give it a tidy and an energetic cleaning, but I’m scared of the pain of bending, even slightly. I’m also in need of “alone” time—my husband has had the last three days off.

Activity

Not long after writing the above, I decided I’d be extra careful and work out to a Leslie Sansone video. I am so glad I did. 2 “miles” of exercise (30 minutes of cardio) and I’m feeling a lot less blue. I’m also feeling a whole lot calmer about things.

Nov 12, Day 43

Nov 12, Day 43

Sleep

Lights out at 10:00pm? I don’t remember. I was able to sleep in which was reat because my bck hurt too much to get out of bed this morning until 8:30am.

Total:  10 ½ h

Food

9:30am breakfast

Squash, ½ of a 4 egg frittata with peppers, onions, zucchini and mushrooms fried in ghee.

Fullness after eating: 8

2:00pm Lunch

Leftover ham, roasted roots, and broccoli.

Fullness after eating: 7.5

6:30pm Supper

Roasted beet and onion salad, ham and onion pie, steamed broccoli.

Fullness after eating: 8.0

Activity

Saw the chiropractor today about my back. Feeling much better. I’d love to do some exercising today, but I feel I should take it easy. A walk would be great but I haven’t got proper socks ready for my new calf-high winter hiking boots. (I never, ever wear anything from the store without washing it first. I’ve had bad reactions to the chemicals in clothing—especially socks!)

Mood

My husband has said he'll "try" the whole30. This is making me very nervous.

Nov 11, Day 42

Sleep

Lights out at 10:15. Slept badly. Wakened at 9:30am

Total Sleep: 11 ¼ h

Food:

Brunch: 12:00pm

½ 2 egg frittata, (peppers, onion, zucchini), butternut squash, carrots.

Fullness after eating: 7.5

Supper: 6:00pm

Roast ham,  ¼ acorn squash, roasted roots, asparagus.

Fullness after eating: 8.0

Dessert:  8:00pm

½ avocado.

Activity:

Went to the cenotaph today to pay my respects. That meant being out in the cold (-17 C) for about an hour all told. I’m mentioning it because exposure to extreme cold makes me want to eat lots of sugar and fat and other  “comfort” foods and hunker down under a blanket.  No meditation today.

Mood:

Pretty good.  I am still bending very carefully so I don’t hurt my back. It’s feeling better but not 100%.